A person who has crossed midlife can make or break, transform or de-shape his/her nearest family or community. Many years of travel treaded with fear or confidence can either fire up the spirit to build society or cause damage to life and living. It can lead either to a religious conversion and spiritual growth, or to a life-without-the-divine. The midlife journey is always at the crucial point for 'the pilgrim’ to reach the end. It is a step towards “The Second Journey” (Gerald O'Collins). Journeys in the middle years is meant to leave one’s familiar settings and ‘throw’ oneself into the deep or travel the strange roads. It is about taking the ‘middle path’ along with other counterparts. There are ten factors that create basic characteristic patterns of such journey. They are as follows:
1.
A midlife journey happens to people due to different factors, thrust upon them.
It does not happen voluntarily. Either they are through external phenomenon (crisis,
accident, illness, infidelity) or inward processes (disillusionment, distress).
2.
A midlife journey includes an outer component, a physical restlessness with the
hope of finding a solution, or an inner component - a search for new meaning in
life. One wanders physically or internally to find the journey's meaningful end.
3.
A midlife journey entails a crisis of feelings: personal failure, unresolved
conflicts, or fears for the future; happy or sad emotions. At this stage one learns
to interpret and handle these feelings through discernment. A gamut of distressful
emotions is being overcome by mustering courage to face them as non-fundamental.
Trusting in the divine power then brings peace, clarity and wisdom through a realistic
optimism, for what can be changed and which cannot. One surrenders to the
Divine will, with acceptance and gratitude.
4.
An onward midlife journey brings “the reversal of all the ideals and values
that were cherished” (Carl Jung).It becomes a constant search for new meanings,
values and goals. Roles are not important anymore. Past purposes and values diminish.
One lose interest in retaining his/her identifiable role. Instead, one treasures
other values and new identity.
5.
A midlife journey, the loneliness that one goes through often, needs to be turned
into the “aloneness of a quiet and integrated self-possession”. A suffering solitary
pilgrimage turns into success through self-discovery and self-identification,
which in turn transforms others that one encounters.
6.
A midlife journey concerns the life’s end. It ends humbly, quietly, wisely with
wisdom and power. Life that begins dramatically, settles undramatically.
Ego-drama turns into God-drama. One becomes a true adult with wisdom,
equilibrium, and with purposeful dreams. One comes to oneself and in turn reaches
out to others with responsibilities and becomes productive. Ultimately, one
arrives where he/she started – exploring, identifying and sharing a fulfilled
life.
7.
A mature midlife journey just lets go and lets be, beyond all strategies,
action plans, effort and tenacity of the past. Action to resolve problem and
control, do not serve to be keys to success anymore. They become
more ineffective as one learns to let go and let be.
8.
A mature midlife journey follows the
principle: a problem is maintained by the solutions found to resolve it. One
learns not to repeat the behavioural patterns that were put in place to resolve
the problem. You cease to do something to change, and you change.
9.
A mature midlife journey follows the principle of non-action, nishkamakarma.
"To reach a goal, you have to
give it up" (Gregory Bateson). One acts in the natural order of things,
allowing the nature to direct the action - a higher order of life. Such non-action
leads towards the natural movement of life - an activity other than that which
is defined by action. It is an inner disposition that allows the unexpected to
happen. With flexibility, one accepts situations as they arise. It is made of
silence and openness.
10.
A mature midlife journey benefits out of the act of grace. A path of non-attachment,
non-judging and a certain indifference through surrender, humility, consent (Meister
Eckhart). As Jesus said that Mary had chosen the better part (non-action), a
mature midlife journey follows the path of non-wanting. Consequently,
the midlife journey towards self-growth and wholeness happens, finding solace
and serenity in the midst of the existent realities of the world.
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